Monday, December 5, 2011

It's About Time.

I've been hanging on for the past 6 months hoping that things would change and return to the way it used to be. Or in simpler words, I have been dreaming and hoping for nothing as well as for the impossible. Thinking back, I think I have been really out of my mind and my conscience. I should have known that things don't always go the way we wish for it to. In fact, all I ever get is a slap across my face time and time again reminding me that this is not how things work. And yet, I repeat my mistakes all over again for a million times now. Is it because of my mere naiveness or its because I was just drowned by my own stupidity?

On the other note, I think it is simply because I just couldn't accept the fact that things simply came to an abrupt end. What adds on is the truth that I don't seem to know why it had happened. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I also think that the incident is one of the rarest moment of my life that is equivalent to the split second moments that one can ever capture.

All these while, I have known that I should let things go and just go on with life. Well, that seems to be my only choice. Moreover, considering all the efforts that I have made to make things better were to no avail. Even so, I have never given up but continue being optimistic about the situation and trying my ass off to make a turning point in the whole scenario. However, I have come to realise that I am the only one making an effort and it is really of no point trying so hard if I were to be the only one contributing to make things better. Its like a lame and limping guy walking without his crutches.

Besides that, I have always put aside the thoughts and words that people have been feeding into my mind. You were always in my good books and never once did I look down on you. Even up till now that is. I feel that I have been looking beyond all your flaws all these while. Maybe it is true that love is really blind. All you see are their strengths but not their weaknesses. I don't know if this is supposed to be a good or bad thing now.

Though we may not be like most out there and I may have compared with the others once in a while, I had never once given up. Yes, there was a point where all I wanted to do was just put everything to an end and leave but I couldn't bring myself to because of the feelings I had. I know that deep down, that would be the last thing I ever wanted to happen. So, I held on tightly and tried my best mending things without knowing what will happen in the end. All I could do was hope for the best and at the same time, hope for the worse.

I have held on to your promises and the dreams that we used to talk about. Not forgetting my eagerness to see you whenever I had the chance to. From you coming over to my grandma's to us going for tuition together and also every damn time we went out together be it alone or with company. As well as the future that we always looked forward to. Coming to think of it now, it will never ever come true. But hey, I have always learnt to believe and expect the unexpected though I will never have high hopes anymore cause all it'll do it crush your world if it never happens. Despite that, I know I will always hold on to the memories we've made together until the day I die. Its definitely one of the treasures that I will never let go in my life - the memories that we've made. From the saddest to the happiest and craziest moments that we ever did when we spent time together. :)

Just so you know, letting you go is and was the hardest things for me to do. Though it may not be the same for you, it has always been such a way for me. However, I know I have to and my decision to do so is none but for the simple reason that I have loved you so much more to be foolish and ask you to stick around. And perhaps, you were right thinking maybe it is for the best. Only time will tell.

So, I have considered to really let go of the past, move on and only hang on to the things worth holding on to. That seems to be the best solution for all of us. You, me and all the people around us. However, I will always hope for the best for you.

If there is fate, we will never be apart again in the near future. For good.

No comments:

Post a Comment