Bewilderment.

Point of no return.

You thought that you could handle it. You told yourself you would give it a try. But you didn't know that it'd be so much harder than you thought it would be. It takes more than an effort to even give it a try. It requires going through all the waiting and the questions left unanswered. And yet, you tell yourself that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. There is a glimpse of hope. Although you are uncertain if there really is and it leaves you feeling insecure. Still, you continue to convince yourself to be optimistic. To not give up on that hope you have. Without realising, deep down in your heart, you are afraid. Afraid that if things turn out otherwise, you'd fall hard. So hard that you need to start learning to walk like a baby all over again. Nevertheless, from the depths of your heart, you know that either way, with or without hope, you wouldn't give up because this is what matters most to you and cannot afford to lose. :)