Letters To You - # 1

Dear J,

I hope you don't mind me calling you that because I don't want to be calling you, you. It just sounds so improper and must I say - weird. On another note, I have decided to entitle all the posts I have for you "Letters To You" so that you would know that the posts are significantly for you. :)

I am currently on my bed writing to you with my eyes half open and brain slowly processing & functioning so please forgive me if what I write seems off topic or doesn't relate or flow well in a way. A new day has dawned and I can imagine you sitting and reading this post off your laptop in the living room after a good night's rest. Well, I do hope that you have had enough rest through the night as you would have probably been beat after work and you will soon have to go to work again. You've been working for almost a month now and I must say that I still like how you would always story me about your day at work once you are done with it eventhough you've been doing it since day 1. Besides that, I would have known by now how work can be demotivating for you at times and how on other times, your achievements simply makes you grin from ear to ear. Life's simple pleasure I guess (?) Knowing all these little details just gives me a sense of involvement although we may be thousands of miles apart.

I am just plopped down on my bed and penning down the thoughts of you that are currently filling my head. I miss the nights where we would just talk and laugh at the silliest things that we bring up. I miss the nights where we would just be minding our own business but not make a fuss out of it because the opportunity to just spend time with you is already more than enough. I miss the nights where we would start talking about our future together. I miss the nights where we will get angry and annoyed at one another just to only realise in no time that we really need one another too damn much. I miss the nights where we will do so much just to make each other's day or night a good one. I miss the nights where you would serenade to me with your harmonious voice and guitar. I miss the nights where you would really open up to me and express to me your deepest thoughts & feelings. These are the simple things that you do that make my day and keep a smile etched on my face. You do it almost effortlessly at times and that was one of the main reasons I fell for you in the first place.

On the contrary, I have been meaning to tell you that seeing you so distressed, tired and stressed up from my side of the screen through Skype last night simply breaks my heart. I do not like how I feel so helpless and useless at times like these - times where you somewhat need someone to share your burdens with most. It makes me feel as if I am not good enough to be able to help put a smile on your face. And it is times like these that I wish I could really fly back just to be right by your side telling you that everything will be alright and after that give you a long & warm hug for as long as you need it. Lets put it simply as me seeing you happy makes me more than happy. So do me a favour and turn that frown upside down alright. I can't promise you that I can say the right words or do the right things at that moment to make you feel happy but I will try my utmost best because I want to be the reason behind every smile of yours. :)

I would go on and on but I think I have to save that for the next post or so because I can barely keep my eyes open anymore. It has been a pretty long day and you would have known that already. This post may not be up to your expectations cause I know it hasn't met mine but I hope it is enough to etch a smile on your face and start your day just right. I will make it up to you on my next post alright.

Sealed with a kiss.
xx