Letters To You - # 19

Dear J,

It is your 4th day in Cambodia today and just like every other day, I miss you. Lets simply put it as there will not be a day that I won't miss you alright. Anyway, I hope that today was a good day for you. You told me that you played with the children there today and you had fun. Knowing the fact that you love & adore kids, I would understand why you had a good time with them and I am happy that you are happy & that they make you happy. Besides that, I guess you did something that you never would have expected or foresee yourself doing at all - eating insects. I wasn't kidding when I said I cringed at the thought of it because I could only imagine how disturbing and disgusting the whole process can be. All that went through my mind is the organs of the insect exploding in your mouth as you have your first bite. I know that it is fried but still... That is just plain distasteful. Then again, like I said before this, at least you can tick doing something like this off your list of things you never thought you'd do or it was in your bucket list all these while? Please say no. Lol

On the other hand, I will tell you how my day went today. I woke up at 0945 hours today as you would have probably known because I replied to your message right after I woke up. Then, I got ready whilst talking to you in between getting ready and I went to uni for my second group meeting for my Management assignment which I am proud to say I've finished. Hehe. One load down. After the meeting was my tutorial and I am done for the day. Yay! I love Mondays and Fridays because they are my most vacant days. Back to where we were, I then took the bus back and went for some grocery shopping thereafter since I had to get down at the stop closer to the shopping centre. I got so much of things today so much so that it was such a pain having to carry that crazy ass 10 kg of load back. I wouldn't have minded the weight but the problem was I had to take a 10 minutes walk home so it was plain tormenting. Before I know it, my hands started to be weak and my back started to hurt a wee bit again. :( It was a good exercise though considering the fact that I haven't been going to the gym for quite some time now. Heh. Once I got home, I unpacked, ate, started a bit of my weekly maths assignment, lazed around, went for dinner with my siblings (which they make me pay for), came home, crocheted, got a FaceTime call from Lynna and the bunch who were at homegroup and so I talked to them for a while, fiddled around the house and room, tidy up my study table, scrolled through Facebook, watch your videos over and over again and here I am writing to you now. What I enjoyed most was talking to you the whole night because I can never get enough of you although we may have some issues being brought up again which I won't labour into now. :) We shall let bygones be bygones for the night alright.

I know I said this earlier on but I didn't think it was legit for someone to miss someone so much and love someone as much I love you. I was just sitting on my couch while figuring my maths questions out when I decided to play your videos again on Skype. The moment I opened it and played it, memories and thoughts of you just started flooding me. All the times we spent together doing all sorts of things, the times spent talking and talking and talking, the time spent going out together & the many others. They just came in like a broken dam and it was not long after that did I realise I actually love you and miss you more than it seems. Even I was taken aback by the feeling I felt right at the speck of that moment. It just hit me hard that you really are the one for me. I would describe how I truly felt at that moment but I guess unless you experience it for yourself, you won't be able to comprehend the exact feeling.

I just wish that you were right here beside me now so that I can embrace you and just lie beside you. I want you to be the first and the last person I see when I get up and before going to bed. I want you to be my bolster so that I can hug you tightly to bed. I want to just hug you and cuddle with you 24/7. I want to keep reminding you verbally that I love you and my love for you is undying. I just want to do every single thing that makes you happy and makes me happy too. Just as you said earlier that you realise selflessness is the one main thing that you learn about having to love, I couldn't agree more than that because it is true. And my way of portraying selflessness would be putting your needs above mine. :)

I know that this is pretty a short post but I think I will stop here for today. I believe that I have said all that I need while whatsapping you earlier as we were trying to resolve our situation at that time too. I hope that it makes you feel better to be reassured and I hope that from now on, we will just strive for the best in all that we do for our relationship and we will continue loving one another unconditionally till the end of time. I just want to say again that you are my priority in life now and you are the most important person to me yesterday, today & forever.

I love you. <3
So so so so very much.